


restless

by oatsnhoney



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Arguing, Automail, Board Games, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fights, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post-Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Tickling, also both are just exhausted, ed carries a lot of guilt, pls let them sleep, these kids are dorky, they make-up don't worry, theyre just trying their best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-04-21 08:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22058155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oatsnhoney/pseuds/oatsnhoney
Summary: This time, Winry isn't the one waking him up from the dream. It's his own terrified screams that break his fitful slumber.
Relationships: Edward Elric & Winry Rockbell, Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell, edward/trauma
Comments: 6
Kudos: 79





	restless

**Author's Note:**

> hey!! i'm somehow here with another fic, not too long after my last post!! :>>>  
it's not as long, but i hope u enjoy this little one-shot! <333

“They’re back,” He breathed while they were laying in bed one night. Lined up with the edge of the mattress, limbs nearly dangling off, his back was turned to her. 

Her brows creasing together in confusion, she stared at his shoulders. Despite her yearning to reach out for him, she refrained, knowing it would prompt him to stop speaking, doing more harm than good. “What’s ba--,” 

“The nightmares,” He finished finally twisting around to face her, the blankets rustling with the movement. Their gazes linked, blue meeting a quivering, guilt laden gold. His face, strange shadows splaying across his freckled skin in the moonlight, was disturbingly blank as he broke eye contact. A small part of her wished that he would allow himself to cry, just to show that vulnerability and trust to her, but she quickly squashed it down with scorn. His doubts were reasonable -- understandable, even -- and valid. And she accepted that they were drilled into his subconscious by years of pain and paranoia. She was simply appreciative of the shred of honesty. His lips pursed, he continued, “But, they never honestly stopped in the first place. They’ve just… gotten worse.” 

“Yeah,” She sighed, making a minute motion forward. “It’s almost every night now, huh?” He nodded, lips quirking awkwardly to one side. She swallowed harshly, voice quivering and hesitant, “What are they about? You’ve only mentioned a few...”

His hand, the one returned to him, emerged from the covers to rub at the corner of his eye. He settled, staring blankly at nothing through the cracks between his fingers. Finally, that serious frown managed to worm its way onto his face, and she quickly came to realize that she had, in one fell swoop, ruined any chance of delving further into the matter. “I don’t really feel like talking about it.”

She mustered a small, sad smile, and caved at last, slinking forward and near him. Pressing her body flush against his, she wrapped her arms firmly around his waist, pulling him close to her. He tucked his arms underneath her own, resting his head on her shoulder, holding onto her tightly. When she felt the small quivers running through his body, she tenderly whispered, “It’s alright, everything will be fine. You don’t have to tell me now. It’ll be okay, Ed.” She pressed her face into his hair, the golden tresses falling around her face. 

* * *

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! No,  _ stop!  _ I didn’t know, I’m sorry!” 

He woke up screaming again, bellows of terror echoing throughout the ominously dark room. Chest heaving, lungs constricted, stomach churning, he sat straight up, swallowing the wave of nausea that urged him to vomit. Without Winry to shake him awake, frantically calling his name, Edward found that the dream had become more exceedingly horrendous. Too petrified to even close his eyes, he unsteadily swung his legs over the bed, the automail of his left feeling heavier than lead. Attempting to quell the rapid beating of his heart and the anxiety and fear shooting through his body, he shakily rose. 

The buzz of Winry’s machine lures him, and he finds himself wobbling out of the room and into the hallway. As the noise grows louder, his throat begins to feel tighter. Once, the clatter of her tools lulled him to sleep, but now it only served to grate at his mind, reminding him of all the strain he had made her withstand throughout the years, all that he forced onto others. The nightmare flashed in his vision, and with a stumble he took a moment to rest against the wall, panting heavily. 

Regaining control over his frantic breaths, he shuffled tiredly towards her workroom, immediately catching sight of the flying sparks, generated by the particular tool in her hand. The room was dark and hot, suffocating, with only a bright desk lamp shining down on her work. With the roaring of her machine, Winry didn’t hear him stop at the doorway. 

“Winry,” He introduced, leaning exhaustively against the doorframe. She clicked off the tool and the mechanical whir petered out. She swiveled in her chair, facing him. Pushing her goggles past her hairline, she tilted her head at him. “You should go to bed.”

Giving him a look, she laughed wryly, “Could say the same thing to you, Elric.”

Expression falling, he sighed. There was a moment of silence, and a bone-deep tiredness radiated from both of them. “Winry, please, you need to rest. There’s no need to rush anymore -- you can take some time for yourse--”

Pushing against her brow, Winry spoke adamantly, exasperatedly, “Well, you aren’t, and never were, my only client, Ed, so you don’t have much to say in regards to whether or not I need to rush.” Her words stung, and he made an indignant rebuttal that she promptly interrupted, “ You aren’t my priority right this second, and there are people who need urgently need my automail. I’m not sure if your prideful attitude and confidence will allow you to see that fact, but it’s true.” She grunted, crossing her arms and drawing her lips into a thin line. 

In her heart, Winry fully knew that she was being unfair -- flitting her eyes up towards him, she could plainly see the bruise-like circles carved underneath his now dulled amber eyes. Heaving a burdensome sigh, she collapsed into her hands. “Sorry,” She whined, dragging a slim hand down her cheek, voice taut with emotions and sounding close to tears. Reprimanding herself, she was reminded of how utterly exhausted they both were. 

She bit her lip at the memory of jostling Edward awake, sobbing and frightened as she cried his name through the screams. “No, you’re right,” His defeated words broke her from the reprieve. Winry’s shoulders drooped and she felt like sobbing at his admission, knowing that he was too drained for even the thought of snapping back at her. 

Following a long, drawn-out pause, with her mind too jumbled to respond, he was left to uncomfortably shift his weight between his two very different feet. “I think… that I’m going to go.” He turned away, before stopping just outside the door. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, Winry.” He disappeared down the hallway, his metal leg clanking along with his uneven steps. She could distinctly make out the limp. 

Choking back a shout of his name that was itching at her throat, she cried quietly. Swiveling in her chair, she hurriedly told herself to calm down, the panic pricking throughout her body contradicting the sentiment.  _ “I’ve already made it bad enough.”  _

She bashed the heel of her hand into her forehead, tears of humiliation and shame leaving wet trails on her cheeks. The mechanic rubbed at her temples, willing the worsening headache away. With a regretful exhale, she clenched her eyes shut, early drifting off to the stillness of the air and the hum of the old house. Blinking rapidly, she sat up, warding off the drowsiness.

She stood, swallowing her bout of anxiety, and dragged herself from the room and making her way down the creaky stairs. When she poked her head into the kitchen, Winry found a hot kettle of tea kept warm on the stove. A mug had been set out. After wringing her hands nervously, she poured herself some, wrapping her calloused hands tenderly around the warm glass. As she watched the dark liquid slosh around in the cup, the tea’s herbal scent wafted up to her, prompting her to take a tentative sip. The all-too familiar flavor of an oat flower, lavender, and lime-flower brew greeted her. The taste bit at Winry’s tongue, throwing her mistake right at her heart. This was the combination that was used in Xing -- to combat nightmares, anxiety, and depression.

In a flash, Winry was reminded of the phone call she shared with Mei just a week previously.  _ “The oat flower works to regulate circadian rhythms and synthesize natural melatonin. In Xing, lime-flower is used to treat anxiety and sleep disorders, and is effective against nightmares. It’s also used to assist retired soldiers, as it also functions as a mild sedative and antidepressant.”  _ With the information invading her thoughts, her guilt increased tenfold. 

Shuffling out to the sitting room, she found Ed slumped against the couch’s armrest, a book situated on his crossed legs, his steaming mug cupped in his hands. Hoping to muffle any sound, Winry took a seat in the armchair opposite of him, nearly missing his small flinch at the sound of scrunching material. 

“Hey, I,” She started, thrown off by the urgent need to swallow thickly. He didn’t glance up at her, but Winry couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes drifted shut, only to snap open brief seconds later, frantically searching the pages of his thick alchemic book for a familiar passage. Taking in a steadying breath, Winry began, “I’m sorry, Ed. It wasn’t fair of me to say that.” Voice teetering out again, she searched for the words she knew she still had left to say. 

Tired eyes looked up at her, meeting with her own, he sighed, closing the weathered book. She didn’t miss the way he neglected to move the bookmark. Placing his tea down on the side table, he responded despondently, “Win, I’m sorry too, I--”

“No, Ed!” Winry exclaimed, the liquid in her mug nearly sloshing over the edge. Exhaling forcefully, she attempted desperately to ring the tension from her face and voice. “No, Ed, you have nothing to apologize for. You did  _ nothing  _ wrong.”

“But, Winry,” He argued, only to be abruptly cut off once again.

“You were worried about me. You weren’t saying that my patients don’t have priority. You were just saying that  _ I  _ should have priority too, and I’m sorry that I didn’t understand.” Her body slumped, defeated. “I’m just so… tired,” A wry chuckle passed her lips, “But I guess that’s contradictory to me staying up.”

Edward leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Winry,” He sighed laboriously, placing his head in his hands, “No, I’m sorry for… putting you through so much.” She pursed her lips, eyebrows furrowing at his words. “You were right,” Winry made a sound of protest, but didn’t get a chance to make an outcry at his words, “I was,  _ am,  _ prideful. I didn’t ever consider that you had to take care of other people, or yourself, and I consistently worked you to death. Not to mention,” He paused briefly before continuing, “I was always coming back to you banged up, and would never even tell you  _ why _ .”

“Edward…,” Her face fell, face drawn as she looked towards him; the way his hair cascaded down and brushed his legs. Leaning forward, her hand came to rest on his knees. 

“I never thought of how you felt, I didn’t consider your pain, Winry.” Looking up at her, his eyes were pooled with guilt and sorrow. 

“Ed,” Winry’s voice was taut with emotion, and she launched forward, wrapping muscular arms around him. He didn’t make a sound, simply placing his fingertips tenderly at her waist. “Please, stop, Ed. Please just stop blaming yourself for everything that happened. You were doing all you could to save your brother, and no one is upset at you for anything you did. Everyone’s,  _ I’m,  _ just glad that you both are back and safe.”

Leaning away rapidly, her hands rose to gently smack his cheeks -- his eyes widened ever-so-slightly. “Now!” She declared, “Cut it out! I love you, you big goof!”

Lips still pursed, his eyes softened, before he smiled gently. Her thumb caressed his cheek tenderly, “Seriously, Ed, I love you, and you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You deserve a break.” His arms wrapped more tightly around her waist, and she leaned in to embrace him again.

Suddenly, she found herself flipped over and onto the couch, Edward hovering over her, laughing as his fingers danced lightly against her skin, tickling -- Winry began howling so forcefully that she couldn’t decide if it was even funny or not. Tears pricked at her eyes, only from joy instead of remorse. “Stop! Stop!” She found herself squealing between giggles.

“Nope!” He sang, amusement lacing his tone. Kissing her neck, his fingers tickled her sides, making her nearly sick to her stomach with glee. In a feat exhibiting her tenacity and strength (and ability to squirm away), she had overpowered him, reversing their roles. Now tickling him, she pulled a loud string of laughs (despite his lack of ticklishness), entertained by her hilarious assertion of pride and dominance.

In their playful match, she finally relinquished, leaning back and groaning exaggeratedly, “Fine,” She dragged out, “Enough is enough!” She leveled a teasing glare with him, “It’s a draw.” Smiling, Edward laughed silently, before bursting out with hearty chuckles. She whacked his arm, winking, before hopping off of the couch. She latched onto his hand, dragging him into their kitchen. 

Sitting him down at the table, Winry scampered off, hollering behind her, “Wait a moment!” She emerged moments later with an armful of old board games, housed in deteriorating boxes. Smirking, she slammed them down on the table. 

Edward gasped, launching from his seat to snatch a box from the pile. “Win! This is the game you, Al and I would play all the time as kids,” He shouted, eyes shining with something akin to childlike excitement, “We always had fights over it!” 

Winry yanked it from his hands, staring down at the faded box, “Oh my gosh! It is!” Sliding the rest of the games off of the table, hardly caring about the mess created, the mechanic began to prepare the board.

Sitting down urgently, nearly bouncing in her seat, Winry encouraged, “You first.” She offered him the dice. 

“Don’t mind if I do,” He smirked, rolling the dice (as Winry rolled her eyes), putting his turn into motion. Groaning at the low number, he moved his game piece dejectedly. She snickered, confidently grabbing the dice off of the table.

Not 15 minutes later, both were slumped over the table, game pieces strewn about the table and tiled floor. With their hands intertwined, reaching across and over the board, both began to nod off. 

“I won,” Winry heard, and Ed felt her hand tense in his in response. He laughed softly, tiredly, and she did the same.

“Sure,” She hummed, looking up at him through her eyelashes, only to find his eyes closed, breathing even. Sighing, body miraculously relaxing in the increasingly uncomfortable position (she told herself it was the power of exhaustion), Winry smiled gently.

Just as her consciousness fades, a delightful sound reaches her ears. “I love you, Winry. Thank you.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hope u liked it!! this is actually my first fma fic i've ever posted, which is really surprising, considering it was my first fandom! funny enough, my first fanfic was fma and i wrote it in a little notebook that i carried around with me! 
> 
> i'm so in love with these dorks,,,, and i hope y'all liked the way i wrote for them! at first i was like,,, "wait they wouldn't fight" and then i felt stupid. so
> 
> i hope u have accepted my strange gift of random tea knowledge haa
> 
> pls let me know what u think about this down below! tysm for reading!! <3333 (also, happy new year!!! hope u have a great 2020!! keep ur chin up!)


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